AVON

Midnight Rider

Picnic tables are really great for having, well, picnics. But apparently a 24-year-old man thought on the night of Aug. 29 that they'd be great to sleep off the effects of too much fun. Police issued a summons for disorderly conduct to the sleeper found in North Gate Park and released to a sober person.

Party in the Parking Lot

Meanwhile on the night of Aug. 30, a 56-year-old Cleveland man decided parks were too airy, and decided the parking lot of the Cork and Barrel Wine Bar was a much better location to pass out. Employees pointed out the pass-outee to police in his car, and he was placed under arrest for physical control.

That Smell

A 27-year-old North Ridgeville man was caught with a drug abuse instrument and other possible drug paraphernalia on Sept. 3. The man, who had been stopped for tailgating, also was found to have an active warrant. He was transported to the Cuyahoga County Sheriff’s office.

AVON LAKE

Can't You See

Costco might be involved someway, but a pair of tortoise-shell colored glasses in a brown Kirkland case were found on Webber Road. No other evidence was found in this mystery, so they were placed into evidence for someone to claim.

BAY VILLAGE

Rambling Man (well, Woman)

A resident followed a white Mercedes Benz sedan on Lake Road the evening of Aug. 26. Well, the resident didn't follow the female driver, but was behind, because that driver kept going into the wrong lane of Lake Road, then occasionally stopping in the middle of the road. The resident reported the tag number to police because the driver “appeared to be out of it and oblivious of her driving.”

FAIRVIEW PARK

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

I've seen “Zombieland,” “Shaun of the Dead,” and an episode of “The Walking Dead.” Let's hope this is not the first sign of the Zombie Apocalypse. Two brothers had been out drinking when they decided to go swimming at 11 p.m. at the West 224 Street residence. One decided to bite the other. Of course, there had been a fight between the 21-year-old and a friend that his 23-year-old brother had to break up. But the younger one retaliated by biting his sibling. Police arrested the younger one for domestic violence and assault.

Free Bird

Showing that thieves can be lower than pond scum, six transport vans had their catalytic converters stolen from the Prentiss Autism Center on Aug 18. Police have video of at least one of the thefts. Officers from surrounding communities are sharing information and have some possible suspects.

I'm No Angel

A guest at the Ramada Inn just wouldn’t leave. Or be quiet. Or behave. Police had to be called, and she added “packing up to leave” to things she wouldn’t do. When she was told she was under arrest for criminal trespass, she did what any normal person would do: she “began screaming, resisting, and flailing at officers, who had to forcibly restrain her.” The 35-year-old Parma woman then tried to hide a bag of white powder in the police station. Along with the other charge, she now faces resisting arrest and possible drug charges.

NORTH OLMSTED

What's Your Name?

North Olmsted Police Department (NOPD) was called on Aug. 18 after a male with a red baseball cap, red shirt, and bike (MWRBCRSAB) had stolen items from PetSmart. Stopped at Bob’s Discount Furniture, the MWRBCRSAB was carrying a white H&M shopping bag (WHMSB.) The WHMSB had 10 items worth $210.90 (tax included), and the MWRBCRSAB showed his versatility by having six pairs of jeans worth $119.94 (tax included.) NOPD took the WHMSB back to PetSmart and H&M, returning the items. The MWRBCRSAB was detained when NOPD discovered he had multiple violations

Second Chance

Just 24 minutes after being released from the North Olmsted jail for theft, a woman was stopped by a security officer in Giant Eagle after the officer watched her attempt to steal $146.93 (tax included) in make-up. She was double-locked handcuffs (the report doesn’t say if they got the handcuffs back) and taken back to the jail, where petty theft was added to her total.

Refried Funky Chicken

A woman with warrants for her arrest for theft from Brooklyn, Strongsville, and Fairview Park added North Olmsted to her rounds when she was arrested at the Giant Eagle on Aug. 20. After signing a form that banned her from all Giant Eagle stores, she returned $175.37 (tax included) worth of meat that she stashed in her purse.

See You One More Time

Giant Eagle seemed to be the place for thieves as a woman attempted to steal $173.47 (tax included) worth of items. Saying it was a stupid mistake (talk about an understatement!) the woman was suspected of doing the same thing the previous week. After putting items in reusable bags, then having enough money to buy drinks from Starbucks before departing the store. She was charged with petty theft.

NORTH RIDGEVILLE

Take the Highway

A traffic stop on Root Road south of Bainbridge Road yielded another charge on Aug. 29 when a driver, who was signaled to go around the officers, almost ran over one and then hit the second police car. Instead of stopping like a good girl, the 51-year-old Olmsted Falls woman continued on her very merry way. When finally stopped at Chestnut Road, she was arrested for operating a vehicle impaired.

Green Grass and High Tides

A traffic stop for speeding on Aug. 26 on State Road 10 turned into something a little more serious. After police stopped the 26-year-old Elyria resident, they discovered 16 grams of marijuana. The driver was charged with possession and marijuana paraphernalia.

ROCKY RIVER

Caught Up in You

Now, children. If you do not like a political opponent of your candidate, you do not have the right to remove their sign from a neighbor's yard. During the overnight hours of Aug. 23, several political signs were taken from yards on Riverview Drive. Police said there are no suspects.

SHEFFIELD VILLAGE/SHEFFIELD LAKE

Miss Understanding

It just could not be explained. It was eerie. A woman on Birchwood Drive reported to police that she always keeps her car locked. But – and don't miss this important detail – she found her car with all doors unlocked. To add to the mystery, nothing was taken, and strangely, there was no damage to the vehicle.

WESTLAKE

Simple Man

Police were called to the RTA center at Crocker Road because an angry non-passenger couldn’t get on a bus that was off-duty. Instead of catching a ride on a on-duty bus, the passenger caught a ride with the RTA police after being detained.

Saturday Night Special

Police are reminding residents to lock their cars, take the keys, and don’t leave valuables in the cars after a string of robberies between Aug. 29 and Sept. 3. Three cars, all unlocked with keys inside, were stolen, while 10 thefts from unlocked cars were reported. Two of the cars were found in Cleveland. A purse and missing change was among the items taken from the cars.

Whipping Post (I had to get this one in)

Meanwhile, a business on Clemens Road said thieves left two work vans but stole the catalytic converters on Sept. 1. Surveillance video has provided possible suspects in this and other similar crimes in the area.

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