Come And Buy My Toys

A caller on Sept. 27 reported that a drunk was trying to enter her husband's car on Huntmere Drive. She reported that her husband was talking to the intoxicated man. As it turned out, he had been naughty earlier in the day and police had his wife pick him up. This time they had to detain him until his wife could pick him up. As they patted him down to make sure he had no weapons, a metal sex object fell out of his shorts. His heavily intoxicated state is due to PTSD after serving as a military pilot. His wife returned him to his hotel.

White Rabbit

Police received reports of a suspicious white van parked on Elmwood Drive on Sept. 30. The occupants were making noise. When officers checked, they found it belonged to the resident.


Beer Drinkers And Hell Raisers

Drunks seemed to be determined to make the blotter recently. On Sept. 21, one inebriated soul decided driving was OK, and then proceeded to play bumper cars with someone who was minding their own business on West 210th Street. The 49-year-old Westlake fellow kept going until stopped by officers. He failed field sobriety tests, and was charged with OVI, open container, leaving the scene of an accident and several other traffic violations. Then on Sept. 24, police received reports of a drunk threatening people. When they arrived at West 204th Street, they found the charming fellow and arrested the extremely drunk 24-year-old resident for disorderly conduct while intoxicated.

Great Balls Of Fire

Police were concerned about a report of shots being fired Sept. 24 on Sherwood Drive. When they arrived, officers found a 72-year-old man shooting fireworks. He was charged with disorderly conduct.


Been Caught Stealing

Walmart again proved to be the place that non-Mensa folks go to shoplift as several were caught in the act. On Sept. 19, a woman tried to switch price tags, changing underwear for regular clothing, but the five items for $65 got her caught by the knickers. Two decided to try it the next day when a man tried to place items into a bag full of scanned items, taking about $71 of merchandise. Then, a woman tried to steal $132 of Pokemon and Halloween items. The next day, a woman tried to switch clearance tags for $75 of non-clearance items, but was caught. On Sept. 21, a man was spotted by Walmart employees as being one that might have been stolen a few days before. He was found to have items. All of the people have been charged with petty theft.



Officers looking to help a motorist having car trouble netted a Cleveland man who had multiple warrants on Sept. 22. The officers had watched the car that was parked at the Speedway for a really long time. When the passenger came out to look under the hood. officers decided to help. That's when they found out about the warrants, along with possessing drug instruments and drug paraphernalia.

Please Mr. Postman

If you live on Lear Nagle Road and are happy that someone took out your pesky mailbox, you can thank a 58-year-old resident. On Sept. 25, the man made the decision while drunk, it would be OK to knock down multiple mailboxes. Police disagreed, and charged the man with OVI.

Boom Boom

A 63-year-old resident reported on Sept. 24 to police that someone was going to blow up his Windsford Circle house. Information gathered for a report.

Smoke On The Water

A vaping device got a 15-year-old girl in trouble on Sept. 27. She would be referred to Lorain County Juvenile Court for possession of the device.


She's Gone

A woman flagged down an officer to tell him that an entire tree was on East River Road on September 24. The tree had scratched the woman's truck. When the officer investigated, he found some leaves and some debris, but no 8-10 inch tree as reported.

Silence Is Golden

Editor’s Note: No reports were sent to us by Avon, Avon Lake, Rocky River or Westlake. We are sad.

With some help from various rock songs.

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