It’s gotten so tiring to be either upset or angry all the time. I long for a day when I wake up and the first thought I have isn’t about gi-normously huge issues like a pandemic or the survival of democracy. What about thoughts like “I promise, Lord, to stick to my diet today,” or “Gee, I wonder if Brit Box has uploaded the next episode of that new Rob Lowe British mystery?” or (even more importantly) “How will the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel survive without Lori Loughlin??”
Sometimes, you just shake your head and move on, as I learned recently during a trip to my favorite bargain spot, Savers in Rocky River. I was in the “glow of the deal” as I waited in the checkout line, smiling down at my filled cart. I had found a beautiful silver picture frame to replace the broken one holding my parents’ wedding picture ($4.99), a virtually unused fondue set ($4.99 … I’ve never done fondue before!), a black velvet top for winter (an expensive $7.99) and a set of scrubs for my teacher husband ($3.99 and $5.99). Scrubs you say? For a teacher? Yep. That is what his principal suggested, since all teachers have to come home and immediately wash all the clothes they wore that day.
As in most stores, Savers has a designated flow for aisles, as well as for the cash registers. I obediently walked between the roped-off area to get to the back of the line. Two people were in front of me. Another cash register opened and a woman darted out of nowhere, cutting into the line from the wrong direction and rushing to the opening register. The three of us in line eye-balled each other, shaking our heads. The woman at the front of the line muttered about people who cut lines. The guy in front of me, I noticed, was wearing his mandatory mask ABOVE his mouth and nose, sort of draped across his upper face. I mentally shrugged. He was keeping social distance and, to say a now-popular phrase, “it is what it is.”
The woman at the front of the line went to an open cash register. “Cutter,” as we will call her, was almost done with her purchase. “Non-mask man” inched a couple of steps forward, toward that register. He was still well behind the 6-foot “dot” on the floor. Cutter swung around and started screaming “Stay away from me! Safe distance!” Non-mask looked startled and said, reasonably, “I’m plenty far from the dot!”
It wasn’t good enough for Cutter. “You aren’t wearing a mask,” she shrieked. “Get back!”
Non-mask responded, still in a soft tone, “I AM wearing a mask.”
Cutter: “No you aren’t! You are an (expletive)!” As she exited the store, she kept yelling “EXPLETIVE! EXPLETIVE!”
Non-mask went to the cash register and all settled down.
So who do you get mad at? The man wearing his mask incorrectly, or the screaming, line-cutting banshee? I chose… neither. I decided that nothing was going to pierce my “Savers bargain buzz.”
End of the story: My husband was extremely puzzled at my fondue purchase. “Fondue?” he said. “FONDUE?”
Oh, and the scrubs I bought him didn’t fit.
But it was still a good trip.
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